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Lonelyinmyheart · Aug 08, 2019 at 09:08 AM

[QUOTE=Mopey;6600377]
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

I don't normally post on this part of the forum so please forgive me if this has been asked before.

I've come a long way in dealing with my past, mostly through therapy but also journaling. One thing I find really hard to deal with is my difficulty in expressing feelings. No matter how I feel inside, nothing shows on the outside. I'm nearly always expressionless. The exceptions are when I have managed to cry a little bit in company (usually in therapy) but these instances are pretty rare. It's not just negative emotions but I find it hard to show happiness or show that I'm pleased for someone's good news, or my own. I feel those things to a greater or lesser extent, but the feelings don't translate across.

It seems logical to me that the atmosphere I grew up in made it important for me to hide how I'm feeling no matter what. I'm also naturally an introvert, so I'm not someone who carries a lot of energy in interactions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lonelyinmyheart

Lonely, I don't exactly have the answer for you, except when I read your post I felt such compassion. Besides, I can relate. As an adult, it was years before I could cry. If while you were growing up it was important for you to hide all of your feelings, how can you possibly expect yourself to be able to show them now? If when you do or did show your true feelings you were criticized or punished in some way, naturally you would learn to hide them. But if you're feeling them inside at least you have them, and that's a good start. If you want to put them out more you might start by observing what other people do who are more expressive. What works for them? What words? Facial expressions?

And then cautiously try some of your own. You might have to fake it for awhile but maybe after awhile it would feel more natural.

Thank you for your kind reply, it really means a lot. Yes it does make a lot of sense why I can't express anything. I said to someone recently that even if I receive terrible news while with others, no one would know. I suppose one good thing about it is that I'm great in a crisis, but I feel so frustrated and also jealous of people who can cry etc.

I like the idea of observing what words for others. Thanks for the suggestion.