This is mostly a rant, but any advice or anecdote is welcome.

I've struggled my whole life with keeping my environment clutter free and clean. My house needs some serious decluttering and cleaning. I'm so overwhelmed with work that I don't have the energy to clean when I get home. Every week I tell myself that I'll declutter a bit during the day so I can enjoy my one day off, but it doesn't happen. I don't want to spend my only day off (if I get one) cleaning my house.

I shower maybe once every two weeks, but I do wash up regularly.

I've been to a counselor a few times but never mentioned this. We were focusing on other things. I got the feeling that she felt I was wasting time and money by pursuing therapy.

I've also been feeling some anger/resentment towards my.(deceased) mother over some things that I didn't find out about until after her death.

I struggle with relationships and feeling like I belong to part of a grouo, and don't have any friends outside of work. I also have trouble with accepting and expressing emotions.

I've had doctors suggest I had anxiety and dysthymia in the past, but not currently medicated or in counseling.

I know something needs to change, but I'm not sure where to begin. My first priority is cleaning my house, but I just shut down.