Ok.... everything is packed except last minute items. We do plan to leave at our typical 2 am , we finished “ dinner” almost 2 hours ago.

I am still wishing this trip wasn’t happening. But it means so much to my husband, I will just have to manage best I can. Yes you all will still see me just as much , sorry about that lol

As for this feeling so utterly terrible, I’m really clueless, it’s being going on I guess close to 4 months now steadily getting worse and very much worse in the last month. I wonder if I had a small heart attack? it can happen my aunt did and felt horrible, or maybe the adnoma on my pituitary gland is growing? Maybe I need another brain MRI ?

A friend said maybe ovaries??! they left them when I had my hysterectomy. They stopped working totally but my Doctor has hoped he would save me from menopause at age 31 but I was always bursting into flames.

If once back home I’m still feeling this way, I’ll go see my Doctor and see what we can do.

I get routine full labs from my rheumatologist every 6 weeks and that’s always with in normal limits, one liver enzyme test is 4 points out of range so we watch it close but it’s just a few points out.

I will always have Fibro pain and chronic fatigue and PsA but what I’m feeling just goes way way way past what’s “ typical”

My biggest fear is what if we test abc and xyz and nothing shows up ??? What if this is just how I’m going to feel from now on?? Then honestly it’s going to be a big struggle for me to continue living. I mean I walk from living room to bathroom and it feels like blocks. That is no life.

I’m seeing my daughters stylist for a hair cut and getting a pedicure when Amanda and I are just hanging out then likely just find a coffee shop and lay in the hotel room and keep the dogs company while we yak.

She’s having Steve and I over for dinner on Sunday she’s so excited for us to meet her girlfriend. My daughter is Bi and I don’t care whom she chooses to live her life with as long as they love and respect her period!

Okay I seriously need a Xanax anxiety is headed up again. Bleh !

Thank you every one for all your support it means so much.