My moms bipolar friend was talking about how she would take care of me and my sister while my mom was in hospital for breast cancer and was crying and laughing hysterically in intervals. I was wondering why she was in the washroom long beside my room so my mom called her and she left and forgot the line she prepared on the sink with the small bathroom mirror there because she was too drunk. She snorted the line of coke before she left cuz I could see small white flakes left behind. There's a lot of coke in this town. A LOT.

She left before anyone noticed and then me, my mom and my little sister were talking about how she's mentally ill but my mom said that she has responsibility at least a little bit. I mentioned that in order for this to stop happening, people should be educated on drugs and they should be decriminalized.

My mom said that it's natural selection and people will just die off because it's better to not have families deal with the addiction. That really pisses me off because shes basically saying that she would rather have me dead if I continued using. I am a VERY VERY lucky case that I'm still not using heavily like that. I threw my coke and meth away a few months ago. I should have told her that I'd rather she overdose on alcohol so I don't have to worry about her drinking problem anymore??

I was so messed up mentally from my step dads abuse and my mom neglecting me that I was snorting very potent opioids from capsules in the passenger seat while my step dad was driving in the dark. I would get him to pull over to a washroom or mcdonalds where I would snort bath salts.

I know what it's like. But I understand my mom not wanting to be friends with that woman anymore because that's just the way my mom is. If my mom survives breast cancer and doesn't get sudden death from her heart conditions, I'm going to educate her on the brainwashing society puts on drug users and I believe that my mom should support that woman in getting the help that she needs.

There's ways to use coke.. At parties but when you have an addiction like that, you need help and people should be around to support that.

I believe my mom has an excuse to not help her and has to put herself first because she has cancer..

I mean I'm on Vyvanse ffs. That's medicinal speed..

Edit: I talked with my sister and she says I'm just paranoid about my mom wanting me dead so it's ok =]

On another note; I can't stop smoking weed even though I feel better not high. I only like Pineapple Express strain but I'm on the waiting list to get it so all I have is LA Stata and Blue Dream. I don't like those strains. :/