I know I have ptsd from childhood trauma, I do not know much about cptsd or how to get that diagnosis? Can anyone share? I do not suffer from fatigue to often unless my autoimmune disease, sjogrens kicks it up. My child hood is full of big holes. I can start thinking about a memory and if something bad happened to me in that memory it stops- ends right before that part of the memory goes any farther. I do remember a lot of the trauma but I also have blocked it away. I am sure I should have had therapy to deal with that but I am terrified it will break me so it stays locked up in deep memory and I guess I am ok with that. This doesnt all apply to the trauma I experienced as a child. The trauma I lived through being an active alcoholic and what chaos I put my babies and poor husband through. Every now and again I can find that space to revist it and it makes me so so sad for my part in it. I know that it affected all of them. I was only an active alcoholic for two years-well the heavy drinking started in my 30's but that was just the earliest stage of the disease. The intense addiction part of alcoholism that came out of the darkness was about 18 months to 2 years. I lost important events that I can never get back. And when I was blacked out I was a shell of myself. A ghost that happened to belong to this husband and these kids. I am actually working on a formal amends with my kids now but it is not ready. I am going to schedule with our family therapist who has extensive knowledge in the recovery field being that she counsels addicts and she told me her boyfriend is one, recovered and also a pyscologist with her.