Of course you can ask. Thanks for being open to feedback.

Maybe look past the bipolar part and say 'how would you communicate with your daughter?'

Or... 'how would you comminicate with someone who has bipolar disorder?'

It is semantics, but I think it is less about using the word bipolar and more about using it as a label. Being bipolar is an aspect of your daughter's life, but calling her 'a bipolar' makes it seem like her defining trait. Bipolar isn't a taboo word. The issue lies in how it is used and whether or not using it that way is an indicator of how you define your daughter.