Quote:
Originally Posted by randomer123
They are all harmless, but usually things I can't buy because they are too expensive or whatever. The fetishes themselves don't really bother me much, it's more the fact that they come and go. It seems weird compared to what I've read about other people.
There's something I've recently been thinking about this. I've usually been nervous about buying these obsession objects. Now I realise the ones I've been nervous about have also been fetishes. And I'm wondering if that's whats causing the nervousness.
Maybe it's not even nervousness, maybe its more arousal and I feel ashamed of that happening in public. I wouldn't do anything inappropriate in public, but it feels wrong to be aroused. I'm female so it's easy enough to hide (nothing visible like I assume might happen to man), but it still feels wrong. I even feel a bit uncomfortable writing about this here.
But maybe this is the real cause of the nervousness. Though I still don't know what causes these obsessions, or makes some of them fetishes. I feel like I'm desperately grasping at straws, trying to find a way to fix it, and maybe what I really need to do is just accept it.
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Well... I don't know what your diagnoses are... assuming you have some. (I've never received anything in the way of a diagnosis from any of the mental health professionals I've seen over the years.) But, to me as a lay-person, what you describe sounds kind-of like OCD. So I wonder if, perhaps, this actually has more to do with OCD than it does with actual fetishes. I don't know... it's just a thought.
Of course I don't know what any of these obsession objects are you're talking about. But, without going into detail here on my end either, I'll just say I can relate to much of what you've written here. And I don't really have any answers either. It's something I've dealt with my entire life. I presume it has something to do with material that's stored in non-conscious areas of my brain somehow... or perhaps there's a genetic component. But saying that doesn't really help when it comes to trying to figure out what to do about it.
I suspect the biggest problem may simply be the nervousness & shame you're feeling. Perhaps if you could find a way to overcome that it would help. One small thing that has been helpful to me is just coming to learn there are many other people who share the same problems I've had. There were so many years when I presumed I must be the only person in the history of the world who had the "obsessions" I've had. Just coming to know I was far from alone has brought me at least a measure of comfort.