Short background:



T commented on me not bringing my usual bag at first. I explained that I was staying at my parent's while they were gone, so I can leave my stuff there.
We first briefly talked about stuff with my partner as well as work.

At some point I commented on how I'd been quite hurt last week. We'd already had a phone call about it on Wednesday. He asked me to remind him of what he'd said (he already had remembered on Wednesday, it was clearly more just to test my memory). I told him he'd said how I'm actually doing quite well and still feel that way. He asked what he'd said about it on Wednesday. I replied that I shouldn't always take what he's saying that seriously. That this is not the only thing he thinks.

He agreed and told me he has a lot of trouble putting this into words sometimes (we've talked about this multiple times now). How there's a concept in things like mindfulness where you say that people attach far too much meaning to words. That he might have commented that in that moment, but that he's still aware that I often struggle and am not having a good time, and how both of these concepts can coexist, just because he says one thing doesn't mean he forgets about the other things.

At some point I told him how the most painful part of last session had been when he'd said 'you're never looking at me, so you're alone'. That really hurt, especially since I'd rather recently started to just calm myself by thinking I'm not alone since I can always calm myself by thinking of him. He told me he'd completely forgot he'd said that but that this was obviously something that might be distressing to me. He told me that it's just a thing that's said in the moment, it doesn't mean that this is always true. He told me that oftentimes he's really happy when I manage to look at him, and commented how I often do that now towards the end of our sessions. He said that at that specific moment he felt me kind of distancing myself from him, but that's not always the case.

More towards the beginning he also told me that it's sometimes his job to provoke me a bit, but that he of course doesn't want me to leave being upset by that. And that he often knows what thing he said the previous session might be upsetting, that he sometimes even thinks about instances of our sessions that might have been upsetting, that it doesn't just end when I walk out the door.

We wrapped up at some point, he asked what I'd still have planned for my time off and we talked about a recent article that I might be interested to read.