Well... I don't know what your diagnoses are... assuming you have some. (I've never received anything in the way of a diagnosis from any of the mental health professionals I've seen over the years.) But, to me as a lay-person, what you describe sounds kind-of like OCD. So I wonder if, perhaps, this actually has more to do with OCD than it does with actual fetishes. I don't know... it's just a thought.

Of course I don't know what any of these obsession objects are you're talking about. But, without going into detail here on my end either, I'll just say I can relate to much of what you've written here. And I don't really have any answers either. It's something I've dealt with my entire life. I presume it has something to do with material that's stored in non-conscious areas of my brain somehow... or perhaps there's a genetic component. But saying that doesn't really help when it comes to trying to figure out what to do about it.

I suspect the biggest problem may simply be the nervousness & shame you're feeling. Perhaps if you could find a way to overcome that it would help. One small thing that has been helpful to me is just coming to learn there are many other people who share the same problems I've had. There were so many years when I presumed I must be the only person in the history of the world who had the "obsessions" I've had. Just coming to know I was far from alone has brought me at least a measure of comfort.

The brain is our biggest sexual organ. And cupid arrows strike us in agony, sometimes at things that are just devastating. In human affiars, nothing is as complex as our sexuality. It seems like theres a market for everything on the internet, for good or bad--often mixture. But if the other party is okay with it, or if it is just in your own place, what's the harm? If it's not going to harm you or others, what's the harm? What your describing might be a mixture of fear or humility, tht's a common affair really.