Hello Animallover4ever: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I noticed this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum that may be of interest to you would be the relationships forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

I'm sorry I don't think I would know what to tell you about the experiences you've been having with your boyfriend & his circles of friends. But I do believe what you've experienced is real. I just don't know why it happens. Personally my inclination, in these kinds of situations, is to say we can never really know what's going on in other peoples' minds. And so, that being the case, what's important may not be to expend mental energy trying to figure out why what's happening is occurring but rather to focus on what to do about it.

If all of this has been going on for 5 years the chances are, I would surmise, nothing of significance is likely to change with these people. So perhaps the answer is to stop trying to "belong" to these groups & go out & find other people who will value you for who you are. I know that's easy for me to say. But I'm afraid it may be the only solution. The alternative may be to just keep beating your head against the proverbial brick wall & feeling more-&-more rejected, depressed & invisible. At least these are my thoughts with regard to your post.

Here are links to 2 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of feeling invisible. I don't know as there are any answers in these. But I thought it might at least be of some interest to see what these writers have to say on the subject. And then, since you mentioned depression, I've provided you with links to 3 articles on that subject including a link to PC's depression quiz:

The Loneliness and Shame of Feeling Invisible: How to Find Your Voice

Do You Ever Feel Invisible? | Bonding Time

Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings | Psych Central

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/depression-quiz/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.