Well, I definitely think you may want to see a therapist, @YougSun24, as this behavior may escalate and you may end up doing dangerous things and things you'll regret. So yes, definitely get some help if you can. You're not "crazy" AT ALL, but it DOES seem like you're struggling quite a bit! So please, definitely reach out to someone. Do you have a support system IRL? Friends? Family? Teachers? Anyone? Anyone who can help you! Please try to get ALL the help you can get because you NEED IT and DESERVE IT! THAT'S A PROMISE! Feel free to PM me ANYTIME when you need someone to talk to or vent to or when you need advice and support! I am SURE plenty of others will ALSO GLADLY and WONDERFULLY help you out as well if you just ask! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @YongSun24, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking! I am SO SORRY you're struggling, my dear, sweet friend!