Knock on the door, I jump and I feel like I'm going to come out of my skin. Dishes breaking and I jump. Someone coming up behind and taps me on the should and I scream. Every little thing, I seem to be jumpy. I've been noticing this a lot lately and it makes me feel so anxious and scared. Sounds outside even has made me jump and once I broke down crying. I opened up the bathroom door once, which my brother forgot to lock it and I gasp and jumped, "I'm sorry!"

I ended up walking away feeling ashamed and confused by this. Nothing has happened with my family, nor did they abuse me. I'm jumpy after getting out of an domestic violence relationship and still after 3 years, I'm still jumpy and fearful. Often I have to meditate just so I can relax a bit, because each time I'm jumpy and fearful, my muscles tighten up. This part of Complex PTSD is stressful and exhausting. All through my life I've had this childhood from something else happening to me, but after being free from my ex boyfriend, things has started up again.

I hope one day things will get better because I'm so exhausted to feeling like this everyday. Please give me comfort. I need it at this time. Even if you don't know what to say, "hugs are okay."