Hey Blue. I mentioned this before, but I've been in this boat. I had thoughts that I wasn't real and that I wasn't the same as others. At one point in my episode I felt like I was projecred onto this world and that my true self existed in an alternate dimension. It felt really real at the time and the thoughts seemed solid. I didn't really question them much and they kept evolving. I also had thoughts that I was being controlled by someone else. It escalated and I thought my husband was controlling me and my children. I started hallucinating and my children began disappearing before my eyes. I then freaked out completely.

All of this was false. I do not believe any of these things when I am in a sound state of mind. I know I am real. I know I am not a hologram. I know this reality is my main existence. I know my husband is the most amazing man in the world and not some evil scientist trying to control me. I know my children are real.

I really feel like this kind of thinking is a common symptom of a particulat blend of psychosis. Derealization leads to these kinds of thoughts and they are a prouct of the brain. They feel completely real, but they are not. Please keep reminding yourself that you are experiencing a symptom. You are unique and special, but not in the way your brain wants you to believe right now.

This type of thinking leads to paranoia and that can escalate quickly. Mine turned to rage when I started believing my husband was a puppet master controlling my kids. I desperately tried to break us out of this reality to find the 'real' one and I went completely nuts. Shut this thinking down now. You are real. I am real. This is the only reality we can touch and feel and you're losing your grip on it. Hold on tighter. Hugs.