This sounds so much like my situation, I got turned down or ignored for sex so many times over 3 to 4 years I quit asking. Every 3-6 months she will initiate, and I can't say no. She is pre-menopausal, but refuses any hormone replacement therapy. Plus there is NO affection or warmth. Today I am feeling especially awful, I told her so, all I got was "sorry, I hope you feel better". No talking to me, no touching, nothing. Today my suicidal thoughts are especially strong. I am starting to believe my thoughts that she wants me gone, however I may leave.