Thanks for understanding. It's nice to meet someone who can relate to my situation. I'm glad you were able to get away from your sister. I didn't realize how bad she was until it was too late and I got into a situation I can't easily get out of. She was really my only family and even though she was always a bully I thought things would get better if I made more money and it was better for a while and then I started having health problems partly because she wouldn't let me sleep when I needed to get over a cough so I had some complications for a few years and earned less than I used to. At the same time, she spent a lot of money and blamed me for debt and things got nastier the deeper we got into debt. I still make less money than I used to because I'm stressed by her always yelling and swearing and being rude to me.

I realized that she probably has undiagnosed ADHD which explains the way she is really reckless and impulsive and causes dangerous accidents. It also explains the daily meltdowns over insignificant things that she won't even remember tomorrow, and why she will leave things like dog poop on the floor and keep walking over it (also trampling holes in her own clothes).

I can usually handle it so long as she is not directly nasty to me. I've been cleaning a lot and took a lot of trash out and I asked her to empty a wastebasket that she had filled up and she got nasty and said it was my trash at the very bottom of the wastebasket so it's hypocritical to ask her to empty it. I hadn't used that trash can for over three months and it's a disgusting nasty lie. I'm just so angry. And I get that she thinks I've been nagging her a lot because I asked her yesterday to wash and put away things that she threw into the hallway after using them in her bedroom. Whenever she is done with something or her dog poops on her bedding, she just throws it into the hallway outside her door and leaves it there for years (then she trips over them and has a tantrum every day).

I have been reading up of getting a court order to force her to get mental health treatment. I'm hoping I can get her to behave better, but if she continues to be nasty and refuses to clean or goes around screaming profanity all day, I might take her to court as soon as I can afford it. I think I might succeed because her ADHD symptoms have caused life-threatening situations for both herself and other people.

She nearly crashed the car once by jumping up and down in the driver's seat and screaming because a tiny cockroach landed on the windshield. She nearly caused another accident by messing with the controls while I was driving and then blamed me and yelled at me for her actions. Once she kept standing stupidly downwind from a structure that was about to blow over in a storm. I had to keep telling her not to stand there because it might fall in top of her and about once a minute I would have to tell her again because she would wander back in front of the unstable structure and stare at it shaking in the wind like a clueless toddler (this is a 39 year old person). I think she has a serious mental illness which includes an inability to cope with daily tasks and recognize when her actions have potentially fatal results. The tricky part is that she hides most of the symptoms from other people (except for the clumsiness and frequent accidents) so it may be hard to prove in court. I just think my life could be completely different if she would admit to having a mental problem and take responsibility for herself. I love my work and my home and my pets and hobbies and there is just this screaming maniac who won't let me enjoy what I have in peace.

Thanks for the suggestion. I will try writing down my goals. I do have a secret file where I hide away information I need to eventually get away. I hid away some money once but had to spend it during and emergency. I also decided that if she ever got physical again, I would file a police report and offer to drop the charges only if she gets mental health screening and treatment. I'm just not going to put up with this anymore just because she thinks there are no consequences for doing things to family members. Thanks for your support. I know I can sound nasty when I'm angry. And sorry if I've been repeating myself. I've been thinking it over and over in my head for years And looking for a solution.

And there's always a chance she will get eaten by a cougar because she often wanders alone at dusk in an area where she knows cougars hunt (symptom of ADHD?). I do fantasize about her getting eaten and imagining the quiet peaceful life I could have on my own. I'll try to forget her nastiness tonight and try to enjoy my life as if she doesn't exist an dream about cougars.