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Plavins1
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Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Latvia
Posts: 2
5 yr Member
Trig Oct 02, 2019 at 06:43 AM
 
Hello everyone. Im really hoping to find some help, if not, atleast a bit of comfort

This is going to be a long one. I guess I should start from the beginning. Im from Latvia. Im 25, I have two older sisters both living with their families, for the last almost two years I have, not exactly moved out of my parents house, but I am living with my girlfriend. The part about being sort of moved out will become apparent soon.

So my father, he is some piece of work. I literally dont know if I ever knew more of a self righteous hypocrite than him. For all the time I can remember he has never had a stable job, only these on and off one time jobs. When sober, he is a smart and handy man, can fix most anything, was a mechanic for about 25 years. In the 90s (which were dark times in post soviet union latvia) he built a garage, nice big garage with central heating. He sort of stopped fixing cars in 2000s and I started fixing cars around 2012. Ive been a mechanic, welder for about 5 years now, working on my own in said garage. The problem is, he actually lives in it, sleeps. Dont ask me why, there is a perfectly good bedroom at home. Any sort of real relationship with my mother is nonexistant at this point.

I cant work a steady pace in the garage because I never know if hes gonna be drinking for weeks. And i cant go work elsewere simply because I have to there, My grandmother is bedridden, Someone has to be there when she needs something, and in winter someone has to be home to keep the wood burning central heating going in the house. So basically I cant work elsewere because I never know if my father is going to be drunk and wont be looking after the house, And i cant actually work in the garage because he is drinking there. When ever im in there he'l be yelling at me for making noise, ''who do I think I am " and so on, actually tried beating me up countless times. I have never hit him.

Its impossible to talk to him about this issue when hes sober, because hes like a time bomb. if you push the wrong button at the wrong time he will go off.
He actually wasnt drinking for 5 months, got a decent job, and even then, was keeping all the money, he has never paid a single bill ever, my mom is working for minimal wage, has to pay the bills, and he manages to yell at her and humiliate her that shes worthless, does nothing and so on.

And as of last friday hes off the hook again drinking, he had to go in to work on monday, did not go, simply turned off his phone and is happily drunk.

And when he will eventually get sober, there will not be a single word said about him losing his job, he will probably pretend that he never had one, or was not needed there anymore.

I remember not being able to sleep when i was little because every night i was waiting for him to come home drunk and beat my mom. There is nothing good that has ever come of him father wise. yes he built and did some good things, but they are so far and between that its a spec of dust on the heartache he has caused.

And I dont know what to do, I really dont. its hard because we have tried to help him, but he just thinks that hes the good guy and everyone else is bad.

Yesterday while drunk he took the keys from my other car, when i asked where he thought he was going he said that he had to take his drinking buddy home, when i told him to give back the keys because i will bare all the consiquences if he smashes someone, he just told me to **** off. I was dumbfounded i had nothing to say. Thank god he did not get caught, but to express such lack of interest in his own son's well being is just amazing.

Last edited by bluekoi; Oct 02, 2019 at 10:53 AM.. Reason: Add triggger icon.
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Thanks for this!
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