okay, so the one person I could've shared this with is dead now - so i'll put it on here (don't know what else to do).

**trigger warning**

today, I almost t-boned this car in an intersection! it was about 50 minutes before sunset and I HAD my lights on (don't think they did) - going on the main road thru the city and the idiot pulled out right in front of me!! I have no clue why they pulled out (the cross-street had a stop-sign) or if they even saw me at all. all I know is that if I hadn't of slammed on the breaks, I would've ran right into them!!! (I couldn't even tell you if they were going straight thru the intersection or trying to make a left turn) the speed limit inside city limits was 35mph, which I was going, so it wouldn't have been a major wreck but still one nonetheless.

I already have tons of ptsd from 3 previous MVAs (one 'accident', one 'fender-bender', and one major crash)! last year in November, I almost slid into the other lane on a 2-lane highway, which might have been a head-on collision -> that put my ptsd thru the roof and I could barely drive in snowy/icy conditions and roads the rest of the winter! and now after this 'near miss', I'm horrified what it is going to do to me! I mean, afterwards I still had like 45-minutes of driving before I got back home. and it took that entire time (almost an hour) for the tingling in my face to stop!!! for a while, half of my head was tingling and I was breathing somewhat heavy!

I live alone and am single, so I have to be able to drive myself. and up until the past few years, I loved driving. now it seems like I'm almost haunted by these 'incidences'. my two wrecks I never saw coming (loss of conscientious helps too), but last year's and now this one, it's like the image is burned into my mind. and I'm a visual person mind you

and to top it off, today's date is actually the anniversary of my crash (four years now)