I'm in my fifties and have been in one 17-year marriage and another basically 10-year relationship, both producing beautiful children. Maybe two months ago, I started thinking about one of my high school gfriends, almost compulsively.The thoughts are not happy ones. But they are there. I have not seen her since my last date with her in, like, 1984, when I was in NYC for college and she came. Have not spoken to her either, although she did send a note when my mother died in 2004. I did not write a thank-you note, which is very out of character for me.

What does it all mean, I have been wondering? Well, unfortunately, for me, I think it means that I am not really a huge fan of MG. She was not, as it turns out and with benefit of hindsight and some distance, very nice to me. She was extremely manipulative. She toyed with me, emotionally. She had a severe eating disorder and knew that I loved her, which she used to help prop herself up, but without any real acknowledgement of me as a person. She was brilliant scholastically and extremely beautiful on the outside. What she was used to was lots of attention and that was really all she wanted, even as she became a young woman. I wasted a lot of time and energy on her and there was little upside for me.

I never got to really tell her how I felt about the way she treated me. And I think that is what her coming up in my thoughts recently is basically about. Part of me still wants to tell her. That will never happen, but the desire is there. She hurt me and part of me is still angry. Were you ever angry with your homecoming date? Did you ever get into it with him? Or do you think it's possible you might be feeling like he was a missed opportunity that you should have taken advantage of when you had the chance? And that you are now kicking yourself, or some part of you is, for not making that happen way back when?

Only you can sort through all this. He is obviously creating a strong emotional response in you. Why is that? Your job is to dig deep and figure that out. Good luck!!