I went no contact for a long while (nearly a decade) before I decided to try family again. I tried, and so I'm still no contact with most of my family, except my mom. I love my mom, even though she is one of those covert narcissists at times (the martyr complex, so not the overt narcissism you typically read about). I still love her, even though she rarely shows me affection. She is much older now, as am I, and I really don't want her last years to be without me. I'm 45; she's about 84 or 85. Most of my family are toxic; only few are healthy. I stick with only the healthy ones, but I would never live in the same state as they live. I've preferred living on my own in a different state for the past 15 or so years now.

If you're young, you have time. It's not selfish to go no contact when they are abusive or non-supportive. You've grown apart, you don't want to get retraumatized, you don't want to get hurt again; you deserve peace, a space for healing, and time away from toxic family.