@88Butterfly88 and @raging vortex

Thank you both for the luck! I'll need it. I have to revise my "statement of justification" (which is like a statement of purpose), and most likely continue revising it until all professors agree with the interdisciplinary approach I am applying for my master's thesis. I have to have a strong sense of what my master's thesis is before I submit my application, where two different committees will oversee it (one being a committee of 12 professors from all different fields, the other being my degree committee of 3 to 4 professors - my primary chair mentor/advisor, the director of the interdisciplinary program, and one or two more professors from other fields/disciplines). Interdisciplinary studies is not an easy field to apply for, but it is the only shot I have given that I'm 45, have limited career opportunities if I went with a specified discipline, and am interested in research/principal investigation among special populations within the community (most likely adults or adults with families). I'm not looking to do clinical work or any type of intervention, unless it solely involves referrals to other organizations or licensed clinicians. My hope is to find a scientific platform to allow the voiceless to voice what they weren't able to voice in traditional research settings, and to be objective (removing as much of my own biases as possible).

My hope is to learn how to conduct meta-analyses, systematic research, focus groups, pilot studies, program evaluations, latent class analyses, latent profile analyses, regression, and other multivariate statistics. I love statistics, but my brain fog from chronic fatigue coupled with a lapse in statistics education will make it challenging for me to jump back in.

Thankfully, they allow their grad students to attend part-time. I may see if I can take one class to begin with and then try for two later. I doubt I will be able to do the full load of three courses, but I'll see.

As an undergrad, I was able to do four classes, but no more than that. I received help from the disabilities office. However, in grad school, the mention of disabilities seems taboo, and I doubt that I can request that up front. If I can, I will. They will be aware that I'm a disabled veteran who will hopefully be funded through vocational rehabilitation, but I have to be accepted first in order to apply for vocational rehabilitation. I've already met with the VA rep there.

Anyway, I just want to fulfill a dream while also leaving behind a good legacy for my daughter. I keep in contact with the adoptive mom, as I have an open adoption. And it is my daughter's 17th birthday soon - this month. I'm hoping that the adoptive mom will allow me to send a card at least, or a card and a modest gift. I want my daughter to know that I've always loved her and she was always wanted. I also want to respect the adoptive mom's wishes because to love my daughter is to love her mom - her real mom - her adoptive mom. I'm just the bio mom, but it doesn't mean I don't care. I just didn't have the resources or healing I needed from all of my disabilities to care for her properly. Thankfully, I hear she is healthy, but I know that she struggles as an adopted child. I will forever feel responsible for that. If I could do anything for her, I would. My hope is to do something to help make this world a safer place for everyone to live in, even if I do research behind the scenes. That's all I want.

I'll keep you posted. If I get rejected, I can always try again there or elsewhere, or I can get therapy for all of my losses, or maybe all of the above. I'm open to it all - criticism, rejection, acceptance, correction, whatever.