Yeah I would help a friend out...


I just feel like I don't deserve people or people being nice to me other than my family as we that's a given. They have been there all my life. My friends half if that of my life. I worry I'm going to hurt people. Become a burden on them. Be a royal pain in their butts. I'm not the best at this depression malarchy.

I don't like it as my friend is talking to my old boss at my volunteering about me. Apparently my 2 ex bosses are concerned about me as when I spoke to them it was alarming. Tbh I can't remember what I actually spoke about that meeting has for some reason been erased from my mind. I remember meeting my boss but I don't remember what I said to her.
My friend wants me to volunteer again at that organisation my bosses are from has been going on about it for a week. I'm constantly saying no. But she's on at me. I did 5 years there and in different roles.

My friend also has bipolar so I go through depressive spells with her as she has type 2 where as I'm type 1. But for some reason this depressive spell in me is different. I'm starting to feel like life isn't working out for me and hurting myself is the only way out. Which I know is frowned upon.