DID could be a source. It is there because I was so traumatized that my own self-worth was fractured, hidden and replaced with alternate personalities. I was not strong enough to be me and fight back, so some other part was created to succumb to the survival needs at hand. I was told not to write in a diary, to keep secrets. So writing became a betrayal, and something I felt I was not good at. I write now because it is healing and freeing. It is a way for me to tell my secrets. But I doubt myself a lot.