Awe - hi @raging vortex

I would have actually missed this if I hadn't scrolled down to see your post. I'm not sure how to check or search for posts addressed to me. I hope I didn't miss anyone else's replies. (My apologies if I have.)

So, the interview went great. I spoke with the professor and she suggested that I apply directly to their program instead of trying to do the interdisciplinary one. I was really pleased with that. I made the mistake of disclosing my disability status of PTSD and the vocational rehabilitation thing, but she also mentioned to me that they have an assistantship that would cover all tuition and pay a stipend. I'm not sure if I can handle that, since they aren't as lenient with the part-time as the other program (they require full-time grad students, which means 3 classes, and 20 hours on top of that for the assistantship). I asked her if I do get the vocational rehab to pay for my tuition, would I be able to volunteer only 10 hours in their lab for free, and she said sure. So now I have some options to cover graduate school funding. Yay!

I still felt tongue-twisted during our conversation, and I clearly wasn't ready for an interview, though this would make two interviews now. I kept ruminating about all of my mistakes in weird ways, but I also was happy and proactive about submitting a new application to their department.

I don't know if they'll accept me, but I do know that the application process starts all over again, which might mean more interviews. Asking my mentors for referrals again was a bit embarrassing, too, so it almost feels like Groundhog's Day with the resubmission of an application, the potential reinterviews (but with different people), and the drafting of a new version of my statement of purpose. I feel like everyone is judging me - and in all honestly, they have to because that's their job, LOL. It's scary to be judged. I'm hoping I get in, but I'm scared of actually getting accepted. I'm also scared of rejection, but I am prepared either way.

I cannot sleep. It's morning and I have a dinner outing tonight with my neighbor, and I still haven't slept but need to. I've been sort of on PC this entire time. PC helps because I can process a bunch of different stuff and then take my mind off of stuff when responding to others' posts here. My spirits feel a bit lifted. It really meant a lot that you asked how it went. I hope I'm more attentive like that when I'm getting to know everyone here on PC. There's a lot of people! Forgive me if I forget. I'll try to remember.

How are you doing?