I also agree with @HD7970GHZ and @nicoleflynn

I had to go NC with family for a few decades. It was painful for all of us, but necessary for my healing. When I returned recently, I continued to receive doubts and judgments from my family members who didn't believe me. That separation for decades showed me how to face them years later.

Going NC doesn't mean forever, unless you find it necessary to do so indefinitely.

I chose to return to family to gauge where I was in the healing process, and I was strong enough nearly 20 years later to do so. I learned who my semi-supportive family members were, and who my abusive family members were. I was able to see with clearer eyes.

I also worry about my mother. Although she is not emotionally supportive for me, as she has difficulty with believing me, acknowledging her own traumas, and expressing emotion, she is still somewhat kind. I didn't want her last years (from 70 to hopefully 100 and beyond) to be without any connection with me, and I'd feel guilty if I didn't at least try to build a relationship (albeit highly stoic, instrumental) with her before she passed, or before I passed (if my time is cut short). But that is just me. It may not be healthy or right for others whose abusive family members remain abusive. My mother's lack of engaging with me on an emotionally supportive level is her issue, not mine. Although she owed me that when I was a child, she doesn't owe me that as an adult. I will be forever pained by my remembrances of her emotional neglect toward me as a child, but I love her for all the things she was able to provide for me, such as instrumental monetary support at times, or such as a listening ear when I had no one else to discuss certain things with (my mom nearly always replies with, "Pick yourself up by your bootstraps."). I've succumbed to the fact that I cannot change my mother, or even influence her to be encouraged enough to change. I've learned to painfully accept my mother for who she is from a distance, and appreciate the qualities in her that are not abusive. I see her more as a stoic guide with boundaries - more boundaries than the fluid and less rigid relationships I have with my friends and even some of my therapists (who offered more emotional support than my mother was or is even capable of). It's sad to desire those things from parents who cannot, for whatever reason, provide what you have desired and needed since birth. It's a longing and a loss that I had to grieve over for many years. Still, I found strength within myself to maintain my own boundaries with her while also cherishing whatever relationship we do have together. It's an emotionally and physically distal relationship, but I can handle that.

What really hurt, however, was when she told me that she had expectations for me to be successful. She sees my disabilities, my military discharge, my emotional struggles, and my financial struggles (and homelessness in the past) as non-successes. She (as well as my sister) believe that you have to be strong enough to handle life at age 18 without depending on family, otherwise you're a "loser." I know this isn't true, but it took me years to understand that individual responsibility in many circumstances like homelessness is moot when there are structural violence attacks against a person for whatever reason. I can be responsible for myself for some things, but really, other things were out of my hands. I didn't ask to get victimized by my father, neglected by my mother, harmed by my uncle, assaulted by my military brothers, laid off for a company's reorganization, etc. I didn't make poor choices with my finances; my financial situations were largely from issues that were outside of my control. Family and non-filial social support (or social capital, conservation of resources, and capable guardianship) are important resources to help someone who has been victimized or has undergone great losses in life, as well as with preventing future victimization or losses. Our individualist culture emphasizes individual responsibility and therefore victim-blaming/shaming. Our collectivist culture embedded within individualism values continued family connections throughout adulthood, despite such harms that abusive family members continue to inflict - a systemic problem that contradicts the polar extremes between individualism and collectivism. For support to be supportive, abuse needs to be absent.

For many people I've known, going NC has helped them to heal from continuous traumatic stress, feel safe to process post-traumatic stress, and feel empowered to move on with a new life, albeit comprising many adjustment issues that come after the routine of being around abusive family members and others. It's a process, but it can be done. It may be the only way for some to heal.

Had I not done NC for those decades, I might not have fared as relatively well as I am today. Heck, I may not have even been here today had I gone NC. The choice to reconnect with only a small few was mine, but it doesn't mean that others who go NC need to reconnect; they don't. You can go NC indefinitely. Although there will be challenges when you do go NC, and even taboo from certain members of society, you have a right to your healing, your boundaries, your reinvention of self, your future, your happiness, your rebuilding of morality, your rebuilding of safety, and many other great things that life has to offer apart from being smothered with constant abuse. It's NOT your job to take care of family who has abused you; but as an adult, it is your responsibility to take care of yourself and ask for help from safe others when needed. In other words, don't feel pressured or obligated to stay with abusive family members; but do take the responsibility to go NC to better your life, and ask safe others to help you with that transition - however long that may take.

I hope this helps add to the support for you.

You're brave to even acknowledge this. Please know that you're not alone.