Hi Bill, usually when I SH, I have to keep going until it feels complete. I interrupted that behavior until I could get to that feeling, so I didn't get the same sort of satisfaction from SH that I usually get. I was trying to rein in my behavior so I didn't let it get out of hand. But because I stopped before I really felt finished, it feels incomplete. So I feel like I have to go back and do more SH until I get that feeling inside that it is enough. I don't know if it is a certain amount of endorphins or something like that. But I didn't get the complete benefit of the SH because I interrupted it. I know it is good that I interrupted it so that it wouldn't get too bad and I had to go get stitches or something, but part of me still longs to finish what I started. It's the self-destructive part of myself. It is rearing it's ugly head. It's like, "you didn't do enough, you didn't hurt enough, you deserve more hurt." Usually I SH until I don't hear that stuff anymore. But I stopped before that part went away. HUGS Kit