Stress is bringing voices again, and bugs, those bugs under my skin. I am calm. I was overwhelmed, I took a benzo and now I am calm. I am seeing an attorney in an hour. My head is full of stuff, I am organizing it to do not look crazy.
I dont think I am crazy (I wish the thing inside me stopped screaming). Lolz.

I do not act on anything, just feel it.

I remember my last psychiateist saying "You are perfectly ok". Yah, I dont act weirdo even if I am weirdo.
I have PTSD and some sort of neurodivergence, neurodivergence that could be diagnosed as schyzotypal, psychosis nos, or whatever the psychatrist wants to diagnose me with.

I am overwhelmed again. Too many feelings:

Hype and tired while wanting to cry and end everything, no! Its funny, its funny inside. Some laugh. I am tired. Its fun. I am sorry.

Crazy, inside and aside

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-