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susannahsays
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Default Nov 09, 2019 at 03:25 PM
 
OP only ever hears the therapist saying these things when listening back to recordings and it's also always when OP has happened to look away from the therapist for a moment. OP has never heard the therapist say any of these things in person. I am not someone who thinks it is inconceivable for a therapist to say these things to a client. However, from the description, it is clear that OP is struggling with paranoia induced delusions. OP identified paranoia as an issue for them in the previous post discussing this; it is not just an idea with no basis that is being used to explain away the situation. This is not a matter of people gaslighting OP because they can't imagine a therapist being abusive.

I think it's really harmful to OP to ignore the context of their post and their specific circumstances in favor of advancing one's own agenda. It's like if someone with paranoid schizophrenia thinks they are being followed by government agents and somebody tells them that yes, the FBI or CIA might be out to get them. Sure, the FBI and CIA do follow people, but it is exponentially more likely that the schizophrenia is behind the person's beliefs, not reality. It's not helpful and can be extremely harmful to reinforce delusions.

OP was doing well when they did not record the sessions, and does not do so well when they record them.

I support the idea of having someone else listen to the recording. I do not, however, think this should be an ongoing arrangement. I don't think recording the therapist is helpful for OP due to the paranoia issue.

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Thanks for this!
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