OP I really hope you can let someone listen the recording and see if they hear what you hear (like a family member), I also very much recommend to make an appt with a pdoc ASAP.

Several of your posts are concerning:as you don’t hear any of it in person and only hear it on the tape but even then it’s unclear and makes no sense, you also see things in therapists room like a condom in a corner

There are bad therapists out there who are maybe saying bizarre things only audible on tapes and not audible in sessions and maybe have condoms laying around in their office, but people making this thread about “evil doers” therapists and how to catch them instead of focusing on OPs well being is counterproductive

To OP, please seek help and I hope you feel better soon