Hello Paul Romano: Thanks for sharing your score. I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. I'm sorry you have had such a difficult time finding appropriate treatment. There are many members, here on PC, who will be able to identify with your experiences.

You mentioned getting up every day & making yourself go to work no matter how you felt. I'm a so-called "senior citizen". And that is pretty-much what I've always done... just made myself get up & do whatever needed to be done that day... whatever it was. Many years ago my father was fond of saying: "You're not required to like it. You're just required to do it." I've taken that as my mantra.

By the way, here are links to the depression & OCD forums here on PC just in case you haven't already found them:

https://psychcentralforums.com/depression/

https://psychcentralforums.com/ocd-a...chotillomania/

And then here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of interest:

Depression: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Living with Depression: A Guide for Coping with Depressive Feelings | Psych Central

Men and Depression: How Male Depression Really IS Different | What is TMS?

https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-dep...sters-for-men/

https://psychcentral.com/ocd/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.