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ArisingNight
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Member Since: Dec 2019
Location: in my private hell
Posts: 7
3 yr Member
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Default Dec 19, 2019 at 02:11 PM
 
May I join? Have always been your typical Dad's kid. I used to love spending quality time with my "father", he had taught me some very awesome things and I inherited quite a few personality traits from him. But after he found the true love of his life and my parents got divorced, I got lesser and lesser and even lesser attention. All I wanted was a Sunday father but this seemed to be too much to ask for.

He cared for his step-children (from his new wife's first marriage) as if they were his own children. He did everything for them while my sadistic, abusive and hysterical mother turned me into a nervous wreck. He even accused me of loathing his new family, just because I was quite unhappy with the situation.

Our relationship became gradually even more and more sporadic. Sometimes he would answer my letters, sometimes he would just tell me to go away. Sometimes he would contact me - pathetic as I was, I never rejected his attempts -, but... his neighbours and acquaintances don't even know that I exist. When we showed up in public places together and met _anyone_ he knew, he would never mention that he was actually my father.
I wonder how normal it is, to feel ashamed because I exist? I am convinced I am nothing but an undesirable, unwanted and unneeded b*st*rd. My mere existence is a shame.
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