I am giving myself a pat on the back for working through many of my internal emotional issues in 2019.

I have come to believe that I have an empathetic side which causes me to take on other's emotions and be confused about what I need verses just getting upset because the people around me are upset so I learned from a very young age ways to escape from my feelings. However, as I got older, it became harder to not get triggered in certain environments like family gatherings, call center jobs, etc. I am learning better when I need to detach from others emotions and feel my emotions instead then acknowledge so that I can then detach from my emotions in a healthier way. When I first came to PC, I was wanting to read about others who were struggling as I was with suicidal thoughts, etc. despite the fact that so much of it was triggering for me. From 2016 through 2019, PC helped me explore my emotions. That exploration helped me heal.

I have so many goals in so many facets of my life for 2020. My desire for 2020 is to stay in my own lane and work on my goals. I am a little better now at not accidentally taking on others goals and jumping into other peoples lanes.

Thanks to everyone at PC who have taken so much time replying to my posts. My prayer for all at PC is that you can find a way to heal your wounds and triggers. My POV is that we have to not be afraid to feel the things that hurt us the most and then we can work toward leaving it behind. We don't have to relive the same hurts over and over. We can reprogram our minds to think of other things. We don't do it by saying, "I am not going to think about that," because then we will think about what we are trying not to think about; instead, we think about what we want our life to be and spend time working toward that. The process of doing can redirect our thoughts. If people are making us feel bad, we can leave them behind and focus on those that make us feel good. We CAN leave the bad behind. The new year is a great time to leave things that do not serve us behind.