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It's more about how one can struggle so much that they begin to feel like they can't reveal themselves because how they struggle can just be too much of a burden on others
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This is really how I feel.... I don't want to burden people, and then people treat me as a burden (or maybe that's the depression glasses). I feel that they should just abandon me instead of keeping me around for the rare times I'm "good enough" for them. I already feel barely worthy of anything most of the time.
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Often what can happen is a person may have already been exposed to people who need them to be codependent and they are not the kind of people that are safe to be around when needing help yourself and not being able to be that person that was able to be the codependent for others. Often a person is taught to be codependent long before they even have the capacity to know what that really is.
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Do you have recommended reading for codependency in this kind of dynamic? I don't really understand this topic well.