abusers almost always come from abusive childhoods themselves. BUT HOW THEY TREATED YOU WAS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. you were not to blame. it was their issue. they were a product of their own upbringing. i used to see things, like most of us, purely from my point of view. i couldn't remember much of my childhood and i wanted to find out why things were the way they were so i asked my older sister about it. she explained how my mom was, how my grandmother was, how my nanny was, and all that showed me the bigger picture and the pieces of the puzzle finally came together. for myself, i don't think about the forgiveness thing but understanding made all the difference. it wasn't about me.. i hope your hurt will lessen one day and be replaced by peace and happiness. you deserve it.