Hey there, sweetie!

I think it's good that you are giving all of this careful consideration. I know you love him and love is a very important component of a viable relationship, of course. What little I know of you, you have lots of love to give, too!

We often hear, "Love is all that matters," and the context within which that is said varies; however, sometimes love just isn't enough to do well, to stay as healthy as possible, when/if someone we love is having an incredibly hard time, too.

My H, my soon-to-be ex, has a dx of BPII. Me, too. Our flavors of BP are a bit different from one another. I have gone through some very long, very difficult times with him when he is "out there" and is refusing to see his pdoc, etc. There have been times when this has drained the life out of every ounce of my being and, in turn, I was not as well as I could have been. Of course, we loved one another, very much so. Yet, in wanting to be together, we were also hurting one another without having any desire/intentions of doing so. It is tough to keep things balanced, even when couples are not dealing with the many and the varied challenges of BP.

That said, it's not impossible to live together and to thrive!

I know my H and I would have done much better, would have been much better for one another if we had involved a good observer/negotiator, something like a couples counselor. An impartial 3rd party can be very helpful in assisting couples to manage major challenges/stressors like, but not limited to, ongoing MI/BP/stressors.

Whatever you decide, my friend, I wish you nothing but happiness!

Lots of Love!