Lily
I would like to work through my grief in a positive way. My thoughts on this include the question "how does one grieve children who are still present? Whether they are in contact or not?"

One thing that has helped me is to have decided that I will wait for them to contact me. I bounce back and forth on this but ultimately I believe that the responsibility to repair this lies with my children. I have reached out repeatedly and things get better for a time. Then something else happens that must be dealt with. I can bend and I have done so more than I would with any other human beings on the planet. But I've reached a limit . I need to know that they want a relationship with me. I have set minimal expectations to be met in order to begin the conversation.

I guess to break it down. I must know what my limits are as there is no way to predict what my children will say or do. I must accept that I have control over only me. My children know I am always open to any genuine attempt they might make towards reconciliation.

As to how one let's go and moves on in this extraordinary situation. I'm at a loss. To continue to hope that I will hear from them and they will express remorse, keeps the door and wounds open.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to resolve grief as complex as this?