Quote:
Originally Posted by Paper Roses
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One thing that has helped me is to have decided that I will wait for them to contact me. I bounce back and forth on this but ultimately I believe that the responsibility to repair this lies with my children.
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As to how one let's go and moves on in this extraordinary situation. I'm at a loss. To continue to hope that I will hear from them and they will express remorse, keeps the door and wounds open.
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For me, even though I thought/felt/believed that the ball was in my daughter's court to be interested/willing to try to resolve the impasse, I kept in contact with her by email, sending her information about my mother's passing, for instance, and other things that I believed she had a legitimate interest in and which I had in some sense a responsibility to send to her.
I also acted on the love that I had/have for her, when I could. I sent the grandchildren small birthday and Christmas gifts, not knowing whether they would get them or not. My anger, and hurt, are/were legitimate, and not to be ignored. But my longing and love are, too, and I felt they deserved some acting on when I could -- with no expectation of anything coming back from her. That helped me deal with the loss and complex feelings inside of me, whether I heard from her again or not.