I keep in mind that we all effected each other. I loved them so much but my deep depression did contribute to my family's tragedy; however, it is SO SO important to work through the grief--as all of you are doing in this thread--and then move on. I am trying to live in the present moment. I am focussing on my own happiness and working towards a better financial future. I want them to focus on their own happiness too and accept that they just may not care about many of the same things I do or are just at a different stage of their lives. I still give (grocery gift cards, etc) when I am able because I assume some of the things done were because they struggled just as I did. I hope the extremely nonextravagent gifts (I do not want them to go hungry) give them a positive feeling. I pray for them daily. I pray my family will feel more togetherness. It is happening to a small extent. It is a little bit like what is expressed in the reading:

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