It’s very hard to convince yourself of the opposite to what you are thinking and feeling. Especially because we tend to project in our future our past experiences. Some of them, remembered and lived as negative.
How to get rid of them, right? Taking some distance and looking at them as objectively as possible and trying to look for an explanation as objective as posible.
Everyone, everyone, you, I and your neighbour whoever he is, is gonna screw things up. In any relation, there are two parties, and both parties bring up their prejudices, needs, flaws and virtues, complexes, personality. Maybe it has to do with something you have to fix but maybe it’s more about the other person.
You, I don’t have any doubt, are a precious human being with lots of to offer and live. It’s good to learn and do personal learning and development, it makes all better persons but don’t get your sight apart on your own worthy, needs, rights.

Ever did your psychologist train you in mindfulness and self-compassion? It helped me a lot to be less hard on myself and cope aith difficult situations. Even with a terrible one, my dad passing away.