i am in the same boat. Over the holidays I have been going to my brother's house but it is becoming clear that he is going to divorce his wife and end up on my couch so I am trying to avoid that. I don't have an issue on Valentines day but I do get upset when someone's husband sends in flowers to work and they IMHO try to rub everyone's noses in it.
The only thing I have found that really works for me is Travel. One year during Thanksgiving I traveled to Florida. And the hotel was almost completely full of only people from other countries. It was like I stepped into another world for 4 days. I forgot it was thanksgiving. During xmas maybe go on a trip to Europe but on a cruse or something so you aren't really reminded.
Some people volunteer on the holiday like feed people at homeless shelters.
I have sometimes just slept through it... or watched streaming marathons.