I am so sorry this is happening to You, @
capital32! It DOES seem awful! Are you seeing a Therapist or a Pdoc? I feel like that will REALLY help you! Please do consider and try to practice self-care as much as you can. You deserve to live a Good Life! Please do stay safe! I COMPLETELY agree with ALL the other wise and wonderful posters! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @
capital32, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, KIND, AWESOME AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!