Today is rough. I don't even know why. Sigh. I was doing a little better with the urges but now they are back and smack dab in my face. My arms are crawling with hurt. I was hoping the increase in the AD and the AP would help this, and I think it has, just today is a hard day and I want to hurt myself. I don't know but I think some of it might be COVID 19 and all the uncertainty over that. Whether or not I will be able to sustain employment during this time. Right now we fall under critical manufacturing so we are allowed to stay open but it depends on our customers and our suppliers if it is viable for us to be able to stay open. Our hours are likely going to be cut even if we do.


I had a good session with my regular therapist on Saturday and I had a good Skype session with my Pastor Therapist last night. Both of them had good things to say about me and my progress. Maybe this is the other shoe dropping. Had to go to Church on Sunday via live stream, although I did get to view the service in my PJ's so that was kind of fun. And I had to join the dreaded Facebook in order to go to Sunday School class because it was held on Facebook Live Stream. I'm sad about the services on Holy week. I'm thinking of doing communion at home on Good Friday. I haven't figured out what to do for Holy Thursday or Holy Saturday. Basically 16 more days of Lent. If/when I make it that far I will be at 75 days which is pretty cool. Easter will be 78 days. I'm trying to think of how good that will feel to try to negate the feelings of wanting to hurt myself.


HUGS all, Kit