Thanks to everyone who replied! It’s nice to see some familiar names. I did read through everyone’s thoughts and ideas.

Personally in life right now I haven’t been in a psych ward for 2 months and doing ‘ok’. I still live at home with transportation issues. We found a psychiatrist (my current one) that works well with my moms schedule. Which is why it’s sucks that she isn’t working out and I will have to find a new one soon. But that’s for later.

I’m not planning on asking for a complete med change in these times, especially since it’s over the phone. I just wanted to possibly mention one change or tweak in something because what I have now is not 100% and I do not want to go back to the hospital with all these scary things happening. (I have major paranoia to begin with) and in there no visitors are allowed now.

My major issue for the bipolar part is either mixed or depressed episodes. I am mixed a lot. Both types of episodes I can become psychotic which is horrible. I also have manic episodes of course but I’m mixed or depressed more than manic.

I read through all the medications everyone mentioned. I’m trying to remember them all. I’m allergic to Lamictal. I can’t be on another Benzo because I’m on Valium and you can’t be on more than one. I unfortunately can not be off of Valium because that is one of the meds that I spent a year finding to help my dissociation/derealization. Buspar doesn’t do anything for me and I’ve already been on it in the past.

As for mood stabilizers I only know if Lithium that has done anything for me.

I do know for anxiety/ocd/dissociation you need to do more than just meditations. My stays in the hospital have helped me with that. I practice breathing and grounding things. It’s helps some and I’m still working on it, it’s just that my anxiety and panic is always off the charts. Anyone who ever has me as a patient or takes my vitals is shocked because no matter what my blood pressure and heart rate and amount of panic attacks is sky high. No matter what. And I don’t have high blood pressure (we’ve checked). So even with grounding and meds I suffer really bad. My anxiety and panic make me not leave the house and I still have many panic and anxiety attacks at home. The same is for my dissociation. I know what it is, but since my panic is so intense, my episode of dissociation turns into a REALLY REALLY bad episode. Where I am screaming and crying and don’t believe I’m real. I unintentionally self harm. I end up with black eyes and bruises and scratches from my nails. It never ends well. The trileptal and Valium combo has made that decrease but it is still there.

I hope I replied to everyone.

I was looking if anyone had maybe a different dosage of lithium that works for them? I’m on 900mg. My seroquel dose can’t be changed. We’ve tried higher and lower. I’ve been on 2 antipsychotics at once but they didn’t help. Never tried more than that 1 combination though.

Anything else for anxiety or ocd that isn’t a benzo?

An antidepressant I could add?