Hi, RedemptionSeeker19, and welcome to Psych Central! I was not sexually abused, but I had a narcissistic mother. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

I suggest you not deny it, but get some counseling to help you work through your feelings. And ultimately accept that it happened. You might be able to get over it after that.

You might post in the forum about abuse to see what they say: https://psychcentralforums.com/survivors-of-abuse/

By the way, I like the idea of waiting for marriage to engage in sex. My husband and I were both in our thirties and both virgins when we married. So, please don't keep worrying about being touched by another woman!