I was wondering how common this is for people with CPTSD.
I experienced intense trauma from a very early age onward. I didn't have a safe space, so I invented one in my head when I was around 12 years old. It was clinically delusional. I believed I had special powers and that I was needed for the balance of the universe to be preserved. As I got older and got away from the toxic environment, they slowly started to fade. Sometimes I still have thoughts like that when I feel really powerless and afraid.
In my 20s, I survived a life or death situation. I'm 31 now, but for the few years after it occurred, the analogy I thought of was like I died back then. And it felt like this was all a purgatory dream. Or that I was just the reanimated corpse of whoever I (he) used to be. Something left behind. The remnants of what was left. To be clear, I didn't actually believe I was in purgatory or that I was a zombie. It was a feeling that I put into words.
How common is this?