I don't know how you deny reality, unless you choose to pretend it didn't happen. Ithink the best thing is to deal with what happened perhaps with the help of a therapist. Sadly sexual abuse is so common (happened to me). Sending hugs. My understanding is that if we deny or ignore any trauma, it will keep cropping up in your mind, as a way of urging you to address it. It takes courage to do that.