My Support Forums - View Single Post - Supporting partner managing severe anxiety

sarahsweets · Mar 27, 2020 at 04:04 AM

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Originally Posted by JohnnyB0913

I was dating a women with severe ptsd from past and she recurved treatment. During her treatment we had to break up. They wanted no intimate relationships. It has been 2 months now and we just started talking again. Her anxiety is eating her alive still.
She tells me that she trusts me and that I make her feel safe, a lot of the time she just wants me to hold her and make her feel safe. I love this women with all of me and am willing to do anything to be there and help her. I have read so many internet talks about what to do, what to say, what not to say. It is a broad scale, mostly just validate your loved one and be comforting and supportive, which I already have been since day one.

To be frank, is it your job to handle her anxiety for her?

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Is there any advice outside of google from a supporter or some that have been supported that might have some advice for me as to continually step up my support for my loved one with anxiety?

She says she needs to learn how to MANAGE HER ANXIETY. I agree with her and want to help her and make that road as smooth as possible.

She says she wants to manage her own anxiety yet she puts the onus of that on you. You may very well help her but she will never learn to be ok with herself as long as you relies on and expects you to help her manage it. Its not a very healthy place.
I get it that you love her and want to best for her but what about whats best for you? Is it good for you to be the one she leans on for her anxiety, at the point of not taking ownership of it herself? That is an awful lot of pressure on you and there is no guarantee you can truly help her overcome it.