Hi convalescence. I am sincerely sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. It must be rough to lose her so young.
When I lost my dad 3 years ago, I found there are no magic ways to get through the pain. Life was topsy turvy. Even though I had 2 years notice that he would die as he entered the nursing home, it still hurt in ways I never imagined. The loss of a parent was something I was totally unprepared for. It was like part of my quest to have parental acceptance even though we were totally different came abruptly to a halt. It took me many many months to reinvent who I am in new terms without my dad and what I was hoping our relationship would be like.
I guess I am focusing on what I can do with my life now, but it has taken a few years to get here. I still appreciate all he did to prepare me for life and the challenges we all face.
Hope you stay well during this health crisis the world is facing now.