in case you don't follow my journal updates...sending well wishes to everyone! *hugs

I've been on a break from the forums for awhile and might not stay long now either because of x, y, and z, but I have finally had that appointment with my GP and things are finally starting to progress in the sense that he's really getting a better idea of me and with what's going on. He was concerned about my moods specifically, so we spent a good amount of time discussing this and I recounted my latest elevated mood episode which I was finishing up as I spoke with him. He asked me "do you ever do anything reckless like driving at high speeds or spending a lot of money that you don't have?" I said, well, no. I don't do anything really reckless like that. "what about (and now I can't remember the exact wording but like) writing excessive or lengthy emails or messages?" and I said, "well, perhaps I did in the past, but now I seem to have that in control. If someone lets me and is receptive of longer messages, I do that, but if I get the sense that they don't want to talk or if I'm just getting to know someone, I try to keep it short. He said, "well then you don't have hypomania". I am relieved in the sense that I don't have to take more medications and that I can enjoy the highs that I do get, but I'm also just still stumped by what this is that I DO have. I mean, these are abnormal highs for me...or these are not my typical moods and more elevated than just having a good day. It's odd.

Oh and then now we are into the topic of marital help. I'd mentioned that I was having some issues and kinda wanted him to advise couple's counseling. This was after the appointment though, so he couldn't speak with my husband for his side of the story. He messaged me back asking if we could do another session. Well, turns out, hubby is refusing to talk to him about this. I told this to doctor tonight. Will hopefully see what he says tomorrow.

Meanwhile, it's strange, but hubby was very affectionate and comforting-like tonight and we actually cuddled. (my anger from the past few days finally subsiding some but we still have issues). It was really nice and comfortable, though it makes me kinda wonder if it's just his way of keeping me from pursuing outside help for us. I really think it's needed though.