I'm so sorry you have been through all this, weezyrose
Sometimes things just happen before we can learn to control them, and sometimes we just can't

Please be kind to yourself, you carry burdens and need to take your time

Regarding what's happening with your bf: i used to be triggered knowing my (ex, first) bf was on porn and other women. I think it is normal to have questions and wanting things to be different or escape

There should be respect

Psychotherapy may be helpful a lot to learn how to set healthy boundaries

Please stay safe