Thanks for posting this. I recall replying to your introductory post. And, beyond the links I gave you to articles in PC's archives, there's not much help I can offer unfortunately. (Hopefully there will be other PC members who will have insights they can share.)

If you find you don't receive much in the way of replies to this post in the Partners forum, you might consider posting it in the BPD forum. That's where you're most likely to catch the attention of people who actually have BPD & are likely to have insight into how best to communicate with someone who has it I suspect. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/borde...lity-disorder/

What you can always do, here on PC, is to Personal Message one of the Moderators of a forum you think you'd like to post in asking for their advice if you're uncertain about the appropriateness of your topic for that particular forum. The usernames of the Moderators should be listed in the lower right-hand corner of each forum page. (At least that's the way they appear on my laptop.)

Best wishes...